Sitting on the terrace of the pub, on a fresh afternoon of rain and thunder, the smoke of Partagás cigars floats through the air, and Sean Toland, Irishman from Donegal, philologist, philosopher, globetrotter, and atheist —except for that one time he looked at Gustav Klimt’s “Portrait of Adele Bloch-Bauer I” in person— took a sip of his “New York sour” cocktail made with silky Tennessee whiskey, while pondering the question Emilio, his friend, host and regular drinking companion, had left hanging in the air, before taking another generous swig of his Guinness:
—Have you ever wondered what hurts us the most? — Emilio began to say as he slowly swirled his glass of Guinness. —It is expectation, I think. The idea that something or someone could be different from what it is. The desire to transform reality to our convenience, and when that doesn’t happen, we feel betrayed. —
Toland silently watched his friend’s Guinness glass move. He nodded. —Disappointment is, in effect, a reflection of our own naiveté. We think the world should conform to our desires, but why should it? In disappointment, one sees the gap between what we imagine and what is. We fall in love with an idea, rarely with a real person or situation.
—Lack of understanding is the prelude to falling out of love. — Emilio added. —When two paths, which seemed to run together, separate. We realize there is no possible return to that moment of synchronicity, of encounter, that we once thought eternal. That’s when we feel that everything falls apart. —
Toland, in a reflective tone, continued: —”I think disillusionment is one of the deepest pains because it goes beyond a single event or person. It is like an echo that resonates over time, getting louder and louder. When one is disillusioned, it is not only with others -but, in particular, with oneself- for having believed, for having hoped. Disillusionment is the shadow of the past projected on the present. —
Emilio sipped more of his ‘stout’ and, with a grave look, added: —And then there is the lack of love. It’s not so much the lack of love but the emptiness that remains when love is gone. It’s not the absence of the other that hurts but the chasm it leaves. It is a constant reminder that once there was something, and now there is nothing.
The two men fell into a deep silence -heavy but not uncomfortable- that silence so common between two friends, full of meaning. The music emanating from the speakers outside the bar occupied the space between them as if it understood that words had reached their limit.
Toland raised his glass and said: —Let’s drink, Emilio, to disappointment, disillusionment, and heartbreak. Because, in their rawness, they show us what we are. They remind us that, at the end of the day, all we have is the “here and now” moment.
Emilio raised his glass. The friends toasted. Perhaps they didn’t have all the answers, but they shared the certainty that there would always be a road ahead, even amid uncertainty, unfulfilled expectations, or disappointment.
For Times Media México
José E. Urioste
September 12, 2024
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José E. Urioste is an accomplished Yucatecan businessman and a seasoned professional in Business Intelligence, amassing over 25 years of experience, which has led him to serve on several boards of directors. In addition to his business acumen, Mr. Urioste’s writings are engaging and critical. Unafraid to tackle controversial topics and challenge prevailing norms with a clear and often unyielding perspective. He has significantly contributed to the media landscape, sharing his insights through articles and hosting radio shows that provide in-depth business, financial, and political analysis. His influence extends beyond the media, as he is a published author.
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