Perhaps because I was a single parent, or I’m just weird, but from time my kids were in Mommy and Me classes (I was Mommy) I’ve wondered if one of tykes present was the future spouse for my offspring. I was always on the lookout for easy-going and bright kids that would bode well for future in-law material. Plus I’d keep an eye on the other parents as we all know apples don’t fall far from tree.
If nothing else such thoughts occupied my mind while watching the mind-numbing activities of babies, later adolescents, and kept me in the moment, so to speak.
For several years here in San Miguel I’ve had my eyes on the grandson of one my dance students. Angel is fun-loving, generous, age-appropriate and single all of which, in my mind’s eyes, makes him perfect future son-in-law material.
Plus he possesses genetic benefits for my future grandchildren by decreasing their height while increasing their skin’s inherent translucency. The Toone family tree is littered with tall, Gaelic vampires that a Mexican man’s gene pool can only aid.
Now, I’m not stupid, and know to keep these types of thoughts to myself. Plus there’s the issue of my daughter not having come to town to visit in years and any local gal with the brains God gave geese would be after this man. My fears of other women were totally unfounded.
Imagine my surprise when I arrived in painting class tonight to learn we were focusing on works to celebrate Angel’s recent announcement. He has decided to join the seminary and join the local Oratorio order of priests. Who knew Jesus had such good taste in men?
Here my dance student had taken her grandson, Angel, on a European tour of Marian shrines a few months ago as she had another grandson the year before. While visiting Medjugorje, Angel received the calling from the Holy Spirit to join the clergy. (Who knew God hung out in Yugoslavia? Oh wait, apparently most everybody knows that.)
Luckily for Angel his parents took his announcement with grace and were nonplused, neither happy nor sad. A child joining the clergy is always a mixed blessing for parents. Sure, they would appear to be a reflection of your good intentions in parenting, but every adult knows to be clergy, now especially, is a hard row to hoe with a highly uncertain future. Plus where are the aforementioned grandchildren?
Angel’s Nana, my dance student, was less circumvent as he is her little buddy that escorts her around Europe and town to visit churches and he can’t be doing that in seminary school. Licking my own parental wounds I had no sympathy for her in painting class and exclaimed “All this is your fault for taking him to Europe! How am I going to have any grandchildren now!?!”
It was then I realized I was talking out loud, not just in my head, and had to explain my years long fantasy of his being my future son-in-law. Oddly, my fantasy was well received.
Well, not by my dog, Jasper, who took the news particularly hard. Upon hearing the news and viewing all the religious art featuring Angel now and in the future, Jasper spent the rest of the class in my student’s warm embrace lamenting his misfortune. Like me, he has to start yet another mental search to marry off my children and get grandchildren before he and I are too old, or dead, to enjoy them!
Joseph Toone is the Historical Society’s short-story award winning author of the SMA Secrets book series. All books in the series are Amazon bestsellers in Mexican Travel and Holidays. Toone is SMA’s expert and TripAdvisor’s top ranked historical tour guide telling the stories behind what we do in today’s SMA. Visit HistoryAndCultureWalkin
